I have gone on a handful of mom walks up to this point. And all of them have been far more lovely, cathartic and necessary than I could have ever guessed.
A bit more background on me. I’m a Midwest transplant living on the East Coast. I originally came out East for law school, met my husband through mutual friends during my second year and pretty much the rest is history. Two kids, a house and hopefully a dog sooner than later and here we are.
One of the most challenging aspects of mom life for me has been making mom friends. It’s definitely not a topic that was covered in the baby books. Those books talked about diapers and breastfeeding and boogers and all things kids you’d expect it to cover. But mom friends is an element of motherhood that I did not realize I would find so challenging and something that would leave me feeling so lonely.
Being a transplant comes with its own challenges of course. One of which is that I left the roots I had grown and fostered for decades and had to start over. So once we had kids, I reached out to my mom friends at home for guidance and support. Ultimately, one of my closest friends of about two decades now (which is crazy to think about) and who is raising four of the sweetest kids was (and continues to be) my beacon of light during this journey of motherhood. She gave me so many incredible tips as we traversed teething and sicknesses, hitting and potty training. I’m beyond grateful for all of these, but the one that really hit home was when it came to mom friends. Patience she said. It would all come in time she said. But she also acknowledged the loneliness you could feel as a mom trying to not only get her foot though the door with raising tiny little human beings but also navigating a world that you’ve never been a part of in terms of meeting other like-minded moms.
Mom friends aren’t just the folks you meet that have kids. They are the moms that you connect with on so many different topics. The ones that do not judge you for whether you have a clean house or what you’re wearing or that you struggled with the kids that day. They encourage you, support you and are people you know you can lean on for anything.
Mom walks also come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s an actual walk. Other nights it’s enjoying dinner out, catching up on all things that don’t fit neatly into daily text messages. It can be stealing a few minutes to check in on each other during the birthday parties and events we attend together. However they come and whatever it is you’re doing, those “mom walks” tether you to your people. People that you may have waited years to meet. That however awkward, chatty, quiet or anything in between that you happen to be during that time together, at the end of the day, they like you for who you are just as much as you like them for who they are.
I am so lucky that our oldest found a wonderful group of friends in kindergarten. It was a group of five boys in total and with those four friendships my son cultivated, came four incredible mom friends. People that I have so enjoyed getting to know over the last (almost) two years. A few months ago we started our mom walks. It’s currently four of the five of us that are able to connect once a week for a Mom walk. One hour. 3.2 miles. Time to connect to each other and disconnect from some of the chaos that is being a parent. Conversation flows from our valiant efforts to grow a garden, to the challenges of having kids and wanting to do the absolute best for them even in the most difficult of circumstances, to checking in on how work is going and celebrating everyone’s wins and encouraging each other during those tough moments.
So as we round each cul de sac (shockingly there’s a lot of them), and fill that 3.2 miles with conversation that covers those endless topics, I am grateful that years of patience brought such amazing people into my life.
I know too that I have found those that I can text and say I would much rather skip soccer practice than sit in the pouring rain without judgment. Or forget to text back for an entire day because I read the message, fully intended to text them back and then my brain went in 14 new directions before I got a chance to. Those that I can sit and chat over dinner with for hours on end, without running out of topics to talk about. And those that wholeheartedly do not judge me for attempting to run on a treadmill but failing beautifully. I am beyond grateful for these Mom walks and for the brilliant friend who knew that with patience and time, I too would find my own Mom friends out here.
Cheers to the mom friends. Cheers to the patience. And cheers to all future “mom walks.” I am eternally grateful.
Too Much Laundry, Not Enough Wine 